Why Live Casino Online is treading now?

If you are a regular gambler, then you know what gambling is all about. If you aren’t familiar with this traditional pastime, then you’re missing out on one of the fun and exciting experiences available to gamblers. Gambling on the internet is similar to the old way of gambling in your favorite casino. Today, we going to talk about the tread of Live casino online, which including game baccarat online, roulette, blackjack online, and so-on.

Live games have been popular for quite some time. The concept has been around since the early days of horse racing. Gambling in this way allowed people to win money at a much lower cost than betting in a live casino. In the early days of live gambling, most people won by placing bets.

The biggest advantage of playing these games over the internet is that, you have alot of online strategy guide can learn about it. There is tons of article talk about how to play live casino online and how to improve the winning chance. Also not to mention that if is online which mean you can play anywhere anytime.

One of the biggest advantages of playing online is the fact that it allows you to gamble in real-time without losing any real money. Unlike in your local casino, you are not required to wait a certain period of time before you are able to withdraw your winnings. This is another reason why people who live near the casinos are usually encouraged to try their luck online. Not only do they get to play while they’re waiting, but they get to make a few extra bucks by gambling on their favorite games right away.

As time passed and technology advanced, the concept of playing live casino online was born. Now, you don’t need to leave the comfort of your own home to play live casino games.

There are many advantages of playing live games over those that are played in a live casino. Firstly, you can place bets at any time and receive your winnings immediately. Secondly, the games are more enjoyable for most gamblers than the games they play in a live casino. Finally, when you are in the comfort of your home, you get to save a great deal of money.

There is no doubt that when you play online games, you are going to come out a winner more often than you would in a live casino. However, there are some things you should know about these types of games.

Some people say that playing online games can be addictive. Some people also say that playing in an internet casino may be a little like playing blackjack, since you may feel compelled to keep playing even after you lose, this doesn’t mean that the odds of winning are low or that the games are easy.

One of the advantages of playing online games is the ease of which you can play them. Many of the games you play on the Internet are quick to load and easy to follow. When you play baccarat online, for example, you can click on a button and immediately get onto the next player. You don’t have to wait so long like when you playing at offline casino.

Another advantage of playing live casino online is the variety. When you go to a casino to play baccarat, for example, you might find yourself playing the same game day after day. No matter how long you live in the area, you aren’t going to have the opportunity to play other games. The variety in online games is endless. You can easily create a game that is designed just for you and enjoy it on your schedule.

Different online sites offer many different types of games. If you want to play baccarat online with provider like evolution gaming or sexy bacaarat, there have a website Yes8sg is quite recommended, they are certified platform and also have nice customer service who 24h standby for help you if you have any question.

Lastly, Live Casino Online really is a good choice for you to start you gambling journey, different like slot machines, live casino winrate can more rely on strategy, if not all about luck, also there a quite lot kind of different live casino games, it really very fun.

Why Online Slots Game in Singapore are so Popular

Singapore often like to play online slots game, is really popular in the region, the main reason is that very easy to play, and stand a chance to get a high return. Slot games always is the best way to enjoy fun and entertainment especially now you can play anyway by using mobile devices. Most famous slot provider in Singapore is Mega888, 918kiss and PragmaticPlay

These games are highly popular in Singapore and it can be safely said that most of people are addicted to these games. This is where online slots players get excellent and entertaining gambling experience. Online slots are designed exactly the same way as real-life online slots machines in Singapore. It is the easiest creature in the world to learn and, at the time, once you master it, you will realize that no one is so much fun and fair than online playing and winning on the virtual slots machines in Singapore. You can play for huge jackpots and win huge prizes just like on the real online slots machines.

There are many benefits of playing online slots games. First, you can enjoy the thrill and excitement of enjoying real playing with real money and not only that you can do this from the comfort of your own home without even having to leave your house. Another benefit of the game is that you can also play it at any time of the day and from anywhere. These benefits make online slots in Singapore one of the most sought after games all around the world.

When you start playing online slots, you must know a few things that will make your playing experience easier. Firstly, when you start playing online, read some tips and trick about how to play online slots games. Next, choose some trusted platform with high secure so you money wont be scam. Last is choose the provider you prefer, different provider have different game with unique rule.

Secondly, when you play online you can choose the best provider that will make you prefer, which is why playing these games is considered to be a fun and relaxing way of spending time. In fact, many players in Singapore spend hours playing slots games and have more time to enjoy themselves rather than worry about money. This is probably the main reason why online slots game is highly popular in Singapore.

Thirdly, you can also play for fun on your own time. In other words, you can play for as much or as little time as you want. You can also enjoy more hours of fun as you play online slots games as compared to those players who do this game online on a regular basis. This means you get to play longer and can enjoy more fun. This means you can play more and enjoy a much more enjoyable experience, especially if you have more time to play with more games.

Fourthly, if you have any doubts about the reliability of your slot machine, then you can go for the Internet so that you can check the history of your slot machines. This way, you will get to check the results of the previous winning slot games. This way, you will know how reliable the machines are and you can get a feel of the slot machine before you decide whether you should play.

What celebrity do on the quarantine period?

What celebrity do on the quarantine period? This is the question that many would ask when they have got their very own timeshare with a member of the A-list. The same would also apply to the members of the media and business people. These people would not want to be exposed to the public and would rather stay at home and have a private life.

The answer is that Yes8 can be your partner if you have stayed at home for some time and want to be relaxed. You need to know that Yes8 Singapore is the No.1 online casino in Singapore in the world for all things related to timeshares. You will not have any trouble in searching for accommodation and will have a very good time too. All of these elements combined would result in a successful stay at home. The freedom of travel is very important especially when it comes to timeshares and hence the fact that you get free access to the yes8 for all your needs. Of course, you can always try to win a golden timepiece here.

The quarantine period is the most crucial point of the whole deal. You should avoid making a mistake in this phase and should stay at home without taking any risks. Yes8sg, will have information and advice on all aspects related to timeshares and should you find that you are a bit confused then you should contact them. You will get all the information about timeshares on the web and should know more about this subject.

The quarantine period of Yes8sg will be your guide and should be followed with confidence. At yes8, let our customer service babe chat with you!

Giải đáp thắc mắc tải game đánh bài tiến lên ở đâu?

Tải game đánh bài tiến lên ở đâu tốt nhất? Hiểu được thắc mắc này của bạn chúng tôi trang mạng vuabai9 sẽ giải đáp cụ thể cho bạn trong bài viết sau đây, cùng theo dõi nhé!

Game đánh bài tiến lên được rất nhiều người yêu thích bởi cách chơi đơn giản và số tiền thưởng cũng khá cao. Tuy nhiên rất nhiều bạn thắc mắc không biết nên tải game đánh bài tiến lên ở đâu? Vì thế vb9 sẽ chia sẻ cụ thể cho bạn thông qua bài viết sau đây, cùng theo dõi nhé!

Tải game đánh bài tiến lên ở đâu? 

Tải game đánh bài tiến lên ở đâu? Trên thực tế bạn chỉ cần truy cập vào kho ứng dụng là đã có thể tải được game này. Cụ thể bạn muốn tải tiến lên thì hãy đánh tên vào ô tìm kiếm. Hàng chục game bài sẽ hiện ra để bạn tha hồ lựa chọn. Bạn hãy lựa chọn một nhà phát hành uy tín và tải về điện thoại để có thể nhanh chóng trải nghiệm. 

Quá trình tải trò chơi khá nhanh, nếu bạn không thích có thể gỡ bỏ app này để tải những app mới. Do vậy bạn không cần phải lo lắng mà cứ thoải mái tải app. Từ đó bạn có thể trải nghiệm những giây phút tuyệt vời nhất với game đánh bài tiến lên. 

Cần chú trọng điều gì khi tải game tiến lên?

Tải game đánh bài tiến lên bạn cần phải xem xét dung lượng bộ nhớ máy của mình liệu còn đủ không. Bạn hãy xem thêm cả vấn đề về wifi và pin trong quá trình tải. Điều này đảm bảo tải xong bạn có thể ngay lập tức chơi và trải nghiệm. 

Trong quá trình tìm hiểu và tải để tránh trường hợp chơi giữa chừng không thấy hay bạn buộc phải gỡ app. Theo như roulettephysics khuyên thì bạn hãy tranh thủ thời gian đọc bình luận cũng như đánh giá, lượt tải của người chơi khác. Từ đó bạn có thể chọn được một app tốt nhất để tải về trải nghiệm.

Lợi ích từ  việc tải game đánh bài tiến lên

Game đánh bài tiến lên mang đến cho người chơi rất nhiều lợi ích thiết thực. Có thể kể đến như: 

  • Đánh bài tiến lên sẽ giúp bạn giảm thiểu những căng thẳng trong quá trình chơi. 
  • Game này giúp bạn tập trung cao độ hơn, tinh thần thoải mái, hưng phấn và vui vẻ. 
  • Trò chơi này cũng giúp bạn giết thời gian vô cùng tốt. 
  • Bạn có thể rèn luyện kỹ năng chơi game bài cùng khả năng nhớ bài, lên chiến thuật trước khi tiến hành chơi đổi thưởng. 
Tải game bài Tiến Lên từ Youtube

Lời kết

Với những thông tin mà vb9 cung cấp trên đây hy vọng sẽ giúp bạn trả lời được cho câu hỏi tải game đánh bài tiến lên ở đâu. Chúc bạn sẽ có thêm những giây phút thư giãn vô cùng tuyệt vời với game bài này. Nhà cái này cũng có nhiều game đánh bài poker với người chia bài trực tiếp, live baccarat, rồng hổ… Vb9 Việt Nam hân hạnh đồng hành cùng bạn trong quá trình chơi game bài giải trí tiền thật trên toàn quốc.

Ngoài ra Vuabai9.com còn có rất nhiều game khác rất vui như bóng đá, slot, bắn cá, đá gà hay số đề. Nhắc đến số đề nếu bạn có những giấc mơ báo mộng đánh đề, Bóng số đề là gì? hãy đọc thêm để tham khảo nhé. Chúc các bạn chơi vui và giành được nhiều khoản tiền thật lớn.

Bóng số đề là gì? Cách đánh lô đề dựa vào bóng số

Bóng số đề là gì hãy cùng Vuabai9 giải đáp trong bài viết này. Vì đây không phải là câu hỏi của ít người khi chơi lô đề, ngược lại nó được nhiều người tìm kiếm và lựa chọn sử dụng. Cùng tìm hiểu về bóng số qua bài viết sau.

Bóng lô đề được biết là một phương pháp soi cầu lô rất hiệu nghiệm. Cách đánh lô đề dựa vào bóng số đơn giản nên nhiều người sử dụng và mang về nhiều chiến thắng lớn. Mặc dù rất dễ sử dụng nhưng không phải ai cũng có cách tìm bóng số chính xác. Bài viết dưới đây sẽ giúp bạn có được thông tin về bóng số đề là gì và cách đánh lô đề bóng số hiệu quả nhất. 

Bóng số đề là gì?

Bóng số đề được hiểu là một phương pháp dùng để soi cầu lô đề dựa vào kết quả xổ số của ngày hôm trước. Mọi vật trong cuộc sống của chúng ta đều có một cái bóng nhất định để phản chiếu lại bản thân nó. Với những con số trong lô đề cũng vậy. Các chuyên gia đã tìm ra bí quyết soi cầu dựa vào bóng số rất chính xác và dễ thực hiện. 

Chơi lô đề bóng số được dựa vào sự tương khắc tương sinh trong ngũ hành. Theo quy luật trong ngũ hành âm dương thì Kim sẽ sinh Thủy, Thủy sinh Mộc, Mộc sẽ sinh Hỏa, Hỏa sinh thổ…Theo đó bóng âm dương cũng được tính tương ứng như sau: 

Bóng dương:

  • Số 1 có bóng dương là 6
  • Số 2 có bóng dương là 7
  • Số 3 có bóng dương là 8
  • Số 4 có bóng dương là 9
  • Số 5 có bóng dương là 0

Bóng âm:

  • Số 1 có bóng âm là 4
  • Số 2 có bóng âm là 9
  • Số 3 có bóng âm là 6
  • Số 5 có bóng âm là 8
  • Số 0 có bóng âm là 7

Dựa vào bảng bóng số âm dương này mà người chơi có thể dễ dàng tìm ra được cặp số phù hợp nhất để chơi vào hôm sau. 

Cách đánh lô đề dựa vào bóng số 

Đánh lô đề dựa vào bóng số là phương pháp chơi lô đề luôn mang đến những tỷ lệ giành chiến thắng cao. Nhưng không phải tay chơi nào cũng biết cách áp dụng bóng âm dương lô đề để trúng lớn. 

Vì vậy, để có thể thắng lớn thì trước tiên bạn cần phải xác định được số lô đề mà mình muốn đánh. Sau đó soi bảng bóng âm dương đã được quy định để tìm ra những cặp số liên quan đến số lô đề mà bạn muốn đánh. Sau đó sẽ dùng số đó đề chiếu với bảng kết quả xổ số để biết số lô đề này đã xuất hiện chưa.Nếu tần suất chúng có mặt càng ít thì đồng nghĩa với tỷ lệ trúng khi bạn đánh sẽ càng cao.

Trên đây là đáp án cho câu hỏi bóng số đề là gì và cách đánh lô dựa vào bóng số mà các chuyên gia tại Vuabai9 chia sẻ đến bạn. Dựa vào bóng số có xác suất chính xác cao tuy nhiên không phải tuyệt đối. Vì vậy khi dùng cách này bạn vẫn nên nghiên cứu và chọn lựa kỹ càng. Chúc bạn thành công!

Yes8sg- get engaged with the best event to held

The biggest and trusted online casino going to conduct the exciting event for gamblers

Singapore- 2020- No doubt the joy and excitement of the gambling gamers are going to get double and double as Yes8sg a trusted online casino is going to come up with the wonderful event that earlier no other casino has organized. Of course to make the event more exciting Yes8sg is going to gift the members going to be part of it to make it more special and greatly enthusiastic. The casino is celebrating the Chinese New Year in a unique way with its gamers with new hope and getting more gambling gamer to take part in the gambling gamers. Obviously, this platform is one of the most trusted online casinos among all available in Singapore so many players will be willingly waiting to become a member of it.

Moreover to make the event quite more exciting this legal online casino Singapore is going to invite 4 KOLs (key opinion leaders) to celebrate CNY with gambler from all across the globe with lots and lots of fun and excitements. Those 4 KOLs are josephy_li, tzeqian_c.c, sabee996 and wenxian1015 are popular personalities on Instagram a widely used social media platform. On the Instagram, the details of the event will be posted and shared by these four KOLs to update the gambler worldwide. Instagram is the major focus for those 4 charming and social influencers personalities to share everything about this special occasion.

As these 4 key opinion leaders are having massive followers on their Instagram profile and of course being the popular personalities, people would surely like to view the event content that they will be sharing. In addition to Instagram, the event will also be broadcasted to several other social media platforms. There are many exciting surprises kept hidden for the members of the event and winners. Some of the highlights of the event are herein-

  • Yes8sg best online casino is going to invite the best KOLs to the event to make it wonderful
  • These 4 leaders will be wishing all members a great happier and prosperous New year 2020
  • There is going to be many amazing surprises for the loyal anew one on Jan 2020
  • ‘The promotion on the Chinese new year 2020 on the yes8sg website and KOL Instagram account will be launched
  • The participants of the event will be having chances to win many exciting prizes
  • The bonuses will be there for the new members
  • The information will be broadcasted on the other social platforms

Thus to enjoy the new year 2020 yes8sg as the best online betting Singapore site is going to be the best platform. But remember that if you want to be a member of the event you have to register yourself on the website and book a place for you herein. However, the people who will register themselves will be legally eligible for taking part in it. So don’t think just open up your device and register now before you missed out the golden opportunity to spare the time with the KOLs and celebrating CNY with greater thrilling and excitements.

Of course this way a new gambler will get the chance to explore the online gambling world so that he can well understand it and prepare him or her to become the master and champion of the gambling game.

One can visit to the KOLs Instagram account https://www.instagram.com/josephy_li/https://www.instagram.com/sabee996/https://www.instagram.com/wenxian1015_/https://www.instagram.com/tzeqian_c.c/ and see all updates of the event there and of course all post that they share therein. Though these are the smart personalities so surely you would not think of missing the chance to meet those and make your day and New Year quite exciting and memorable with those.

As they are going to be here so the worth of the event is going to increase a lot. Yes8sg is the best online betting Singapore casino that is having many exciting bonus offers, hidden prizes, etc for the gamblers. Each one will be appreciated with some rewards and thus the day by attending the event will become everlasting. Apart from is No 1 online casino Singapore KOLs will be doing their best job to add greater stars to the event.

Yes8sg is the best online casino that is legally licensed and is having large numbers of gamers taking part in it. It is offering plenty of gambling game choices that is enough to have good gaming experience and the best possible time spared with this platform.


Basics of Live Baccarat You Should Know

Live casinos provide an authentic gaming experience as they are broadcast from purposefully built studios where professional dealers interact with players real-time, taking their bets and operating tables of roulette, blackjack, baccarat, and other games like Sic Bo, Hi-Lo and more. Live dealer baccarat is no longer just a game for sceptics who don’t believe that online casino sites are playing fair – by now, most of us know that the vast majority of online casinos are totally reputable and rely on thoroughly tested random number generators – but something that offers a twist on the game for players looking for an experience that’s a little bit different. Live Baccarat is a fully interactive card game where you get to play with other players, featuring a chat feature and a real human dealer handling the cards and the bets. While many players games online will attempt to count the cards and figure out whether the player or the banker is due for a good hand, the smart baccarat strategy is to just bet on the banker.

The true beauty of table games that are streamed live, is that players can enjoy the same betting experience they would in land-based casinos. Among the baccarat online real money casinos we can highlight Royal Vegas (that provides a wide range of baccarat real money games), Vivabet2u Casino (where Singapore players can get a huge free bonus) and Spin Palace (for having a variety of live casino games included baccarat). If baccarat is too dull, you can enjoy many other variants of the game on most sites, including the popular live dealer version Punto Banco gives gamblers a little more choice in the kinds of bets they can make, like the exact totals of both players’ cards.

Real money casino online baccarat is a fun card game played between the players and the House. If you use the same computer to play online all the time, however, downloading the game might be faster and you get instant access to it. Baccarat games all run on award winning gaming casino software developed by Microgaming and according to many seasoned players, your odds are better than playing live at Vegas. The gameplay is usually a bit slower than the one in the traditional online casinos because the cards are actually being dealt by the dealer, and all players are allowed to have some time for placing their bets.

This means that the aim of the game is to get the 2 cards to equal 9. You can read more about what happens if more cards need to be dealt to either the player or the banker in our in-depth guide to playing baccarat, but essentially – if you bet on the hand that gets the closest 9 and there is no tie, you win. Because all bets must be placed before any cards have even hit the table (or been ‘shown’), there is little room for strategy within the superficial confines of the game, however there is plenty of space for players to ad pot their own playing regimes, betting patterns or financial goals to make the game more tailored, focused and interesting for high-rolling players.

Recommended live casino game-how to choose the best one

Of course, there is a big difference in live casinos and online casinos. Yes, online casino is convenient as compared to live casinos but you are unable to do gambling with real money. You are unable to earn more and more money at an online casino. Due to this reason mostly people like to play games at live casinos. In live casinos, you can play with real casino dealers and real croupiers. There is large number of recommended live casino game are present. Every game has perfect itself so that you can choose easily. If you are confused about the wide range of games, then you can get expert advice.

How to choose the best live casino game:

Millions of people love to play games at an online gambling and 918kiss. They are very possessive about their games. But various people are available who have no idea about how to choose best casino games. Due to this reason, they avoid online gambling. But their various ways are available by which you can choose best live casino game:

    • There are hundreds of live casinos are present. But you have to search for a nearer land-based casino. You also have to compare two or more casinos. If you compare the services of casinos, then you can easily get information about best one.
    • You also have to see that what kinds of games are available there. You also have to consider that it provides the facility of bonuses or rewards or not.
    • You have to consider its legality. You have to see that it is legally authorized by the gambling industry. If you consider these things, then you can enjoy gambling without any fear.
  • You also have to see that it has real tables or real dealers.

If you follow these ways, then you can easily choose best live casino. In the land-based casino, the wide variety of games is present. Due to which you can choose as per your wishes. If you do gambling at the land-based casino, then you can interact with lots of people who are not possible at the online casino. Live casino offers a refreshing change so that you can change your game at any time. If you play at the online casino, then you never refresh your game again and again. Mostly people have the unclear concept of live casinos. Due to this reason, there are experts also present that give information about live casinos and gambling.

Live casino game is just like the real casino game. You can watch everything such as dealer shuffling, spinning the roulette wheel, drawing cards and much more things. The dealer is real, the wheel is real, the cards are real, and you can see that what exactly happen. If you play offline, then you don’t have to trust on numbers that generated by software. The numbers and cards are trustworthy and honest. For example, when playing live poker games, all the players are dealt with actual cards. You can do all the things at your table in front of your opposite player. On the other hand, while playing roulette, you can watch as the ball drops and the wheel spins.

The Trash Heap Has Spoken

My grandmother was a mountain. When I was a girl, I’d stand next to her vanity and watch as she strung herself with what I thought of as her “jewels”—jangling, glittering bangles and jade-green Lucite earrings and roped gold necklaces and Swarovski crystal brooches shaped like elephants and tigers. She wore leopard-print nightgowns and smelled like White Diamonds and overflowed from the bones of her chair.

Her body was a marvel to me, a form unbound and soothing as a Buddha. Sometimes, I would sit in her lap and peek down her shirt, to see her mysteries. She was the biggest woman I knew.

I was a skinny kid, coltish and freakishly fast. My anxiety seemed to burn calories; I was always upset about something that had happened or would happen or could happen. And when I wasn’t ascending the sticky torsos of pine trees in our backyard or mainlining Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys crossover novels or leaving sporadic, melodramatic entries in my diary or researching the symptoms of leukemia on the public library’s computer, I watched Fraggle Rock. I adored the industrious Doozers and the way the Fraggles rapaciously devoured their architecture. I was fascinated by the metafictional quirk of Doc and Sprocket acting out analogues of the Fraggles’ dramas in their own lives. But there was no one I loved more than Marjory the Trash Heap.

Marjory was a voluminous mound of sentient garbage and compost and leaves, who had a cherry-red cat-eye lorgnette and a banana-peel fascinator set at a jaunty angle. From the tippy-top of her head, she only spread outward as you went down. She didn’t spill from anything because there was nothing to spill from: she was boundless.

When they were feeling lost, the Fraggles braved the Gorgs’ backyard to seek Marjory’s wisdom. She was an all-knowing oracle who gave out dadaist advice; judicious even as she moldered. She had large, floppy trash-breasts that moved if she sang emphatically enough. And sing she did: mournful, wry, bluesy songs.

She, Marjory, was attended by two ambiguously specied, Muppetish rodents, Philo and Gunge. “My boys,” she called them in her raspy Slavic accent. When the scenes with her came to a close, these supplicants howled, “The Trash Heap has spoken, nyahhh,” a signal that the audience with Marjory was over. “Gunge” is a gummy, unpleasant substance, like what you might find at the bottom of an outdoor garbage can. “Philo,” of course, means love.

The Little Mermaid, too, was in constant rotation when I was a child. The tape was in the VCR more often than it wasn’t, and I could—and can, still—recite whole scenes from memory. I thought Ursula was magnificent: the best and most terrifying of all the Disney villains. She lured traditionally beautiful, predictably rebellious princesses into Faustian bargains and thumbed her nose at the polite mermaid society from which she had been banished. She lived in a palace made from the skeleton of an ancient leviathan and ate living, trembling shrimp from a seashell dish. She was crowned with a shock of white hair, heavy-lidded with blue eye shadow, adorned with red lips and a beauty spot. Her breasts were pushed up and spilled out and moved every time she did. Often, she came toward the viewer, quick and filling the frame—shimmying her bosom, splaying her tentacles obscenely, showing off her elbow dimples and double chin and large teeth.

She was lascivious and vulgar, ambitious and arrogant. When Ariel first met her, Ursula sat at her vanity performing an ostentatious act: making herself beautiful, running mousse through her hair, pinching pigment from a pod and painting her mouth orange-red as the surface of Mars.

Ursula the sea witch, like Marjory the Trash Heap, was also attended by two creatures, in this case eels: Flotsam and Jetsam (a pun I only understood as an adult). Here she was: a fallen, magical noble with flamboyant taste, served by the detritus of the ocean.

* * *
Puberty roiled up on me like a thunderstorm, and when it passed it left behind breasts and hips and other junk besides. Here is what the mirrors saw after that:

Two halves of a formal dress closing up around my teenaged body like a Venus flytrap, and then stopping because of a too-large chest. My mother cursing, yanking, muttering. The sounds of other girls trying on dresses with their mothers—rustling, zipping, crying. A row of dioramas, each playing out its own miniature tragedy. Black t-shirts and jeans that never fit quite right, sweatshirts designed to conceal. Me, gripping with a kind of rage the parts of my body that didn’t hug to my bones.

Was I actually fat, back then? I certainly thought so, but looking at photos years later—when I am actually, clinically obese, the kind that makes you bad at doctor’s appointments and great at online shopping—I look ordinary. Busty—my grandmother’s inheritance—but otherwise average. A little slumpy and curved inward, but that’s just what it’s like to be a teenage girl, isn’t it? Embarrassed for existing.

In any case, I kept getting bigger. I didn’t absorb Marjory and Ursula’s object lessons on existing audaciously, but instead landed squarely where culture wanted me: hating my body, participating in my own oppression in grotesque ways. I clipped out advertisements for weight-loss products—despite the fact that my cousin was hospitalized with heart problems after taking the prescription diet pill Fen-Phen—and watched infomercials for electrical muscle stimulation machines; all that kept me from joining these late-nineties/early-aughts weight-loss crazes was my lack of a credit card. I became convinced that I could break down my fatness with violence, punching my abdomen with my fists like I was trying to induce an abortion. I drank so much water my pee was nearly clear. I tried to stop eating, but the hunger was so terrible I broke my fast by eating all I could find in my parents’ kitchen: half a bag of jumbo marshmallows. Unable to change, I became Centralia, settling into a low-grade loathing that smoldered for years.

I didn’t yet see that, at least in fiction, some fat women chose power. Whether they were villains or oracles, whether it came in the form of ambition or beauty or brilliance or sexual prowess or raw, uncut strength, these women were tremendous. Maybe I didn’t notice because they were discrete examples amid a deluge of terrible ones: bumbling fat cops and embarrassing fat sidekicks and desexualized fat mothers and nasty fat bullies and lazy fat punch lines.

Once, in a store, my mother and I saw a very fat woman buying peppers. My mother turned to me and said, “If I ever look like that, kill me.” She said it like a spy giving a subordinate spy a direct order, in the event of capture over enemy lines.

Many years later, she, my mother, had bariatric surgery and melted away. She will never look like that woman did, or the way that I do. There is no risk that I will need to follow her instructions.

The first time I saw the Venus of Willendorf—in an art-history class my senior year of high school—I could not believe what I was seeing. Because she wasn’t just plump or curvy or any of the other euphemisms I was quickly adopting; she was really, properly fat. She had voluminous breasts and a round, spilling belly and dimpled knees and tiny feet and a nearly blank face.

(There are other Venuses, too. My favorite might be the Venus of Hohle Fels, made of mammoth ivory: she has a tiny head, massive breasts held up by her bear-paw hands, and an exaggerated vulva, so large it separates her legs to the width of her torso.)

There are many theories about the purpose of the Venus figurines. Some people theorize that they were the prehistoric equivalent of pornography. Others notice that their feet were often pointed, so perhaps they were meant to be stuck in the ground like pegs, for some sort of ceremony. Still another theory accounts for the blankness of their faces: that they were self-portraits, created by ancient women who had neither cameras nor mirrors.

Every day, I look for myself in other women’s bodies. This is what happens when you never see yourself in television shows or catalogues or movies—you get hungry. In passersby, I seek out a faithful replica of my own full chest: my plastic-bag stomach pooched over jeans, my milk-carton hips, and my face with its peach-pit cheekbones set in coffee grounds. In this way, I see myself in pieces, mostly, and have to assemble my body in my mind.

It isn’t like my mother and the woman buying the peppers; I’m not disgusted or afraid. I just want to know what I look like to other people. And every so often, I get to see all of those pieces together, and it feels like the reverberations after an orgasm—a low, deep satisfaction.

The beautiful fat woman is across from me on the subway platform, chewing on her nail. She’s trying on really nice shoes in the same store where I am trying on really nice shoes. She’s catching her reflection in a window in the hatched streets of our shared city, and I can’t stop looking at her. Does she resemble me, or do I just hope that because she’s so beautiful? Does that make me vain, or stupid? Why does seeing a woman who might actually look like me make me want to sit down on the pavement and cry?

It isn’t that I don’t look in the mirror, or see myself in photographs. It’s just that looking at myself in the mirror or seeing myself in photographs is like listening to a recording of my voice; with my attention turned fully to consumption, everything seems different. “I don’t remember looking like that,” I said once when I saw a picture of myself at a party—double-chinned and sack-shaped as Friar Tuck—as if I could remember looking like anything at all.

* * *
In Mad Max: Fury Road, the only fat women are seen in passing with milk pumps attached to their giant breasts, like cows in a barn. In Now and Then, the only fat girl, Chrissy, is also the only one who doesn’t get her own backstory. In the first episode of Jessica Jones, a nameless fat woman who looks a lot like me gets off a treadmill to shove a burger in her face, and Jessica says, wryly: “Two minutes on the treadmill, twenty minutes on a quarter pounder.”

Sometimes, I imagine movies and shows I love with a fat actress instead of a thin one, but identical in every other way. I think about Fried Green Tomatoes with a voluptuous Ruth or a stout Idgie next to each other in the pond; Jane the Virgin with a fat, brilliant, neurotic Jane with two men madly in love with her; Death Proof with a chubby Zoe riding that car’s hood; Lucky Number Slevin with a plump Lindsey smiling and full of secrets; Secretary with a fat Lee bent over that desk, bathed in the copper tub, sprawled out next to James Spader as he tenderly kisses every inch of her.

Fat women and girls are matrons, cronies, jokes. They’re never romantic leads, or heroes. They never get to just be. It’s like writers can’t imagine fat women having sex or agency or complex lives. They’re just bodies for thin people to bounce off of; funny and unserious as a whoopee cushion or unconsidered as a chair. If they’re even there at all.

Almost every person I’ve dated or slept with, man or woman, has observed unprompted that I am the fattest woman they’ve ever been with. I never know what that means. Are they marveling? Struggling for answers? After a series of these confessions I found myself watching lovers more closely, not because they have reminded me that I am fat, but because they have pointed out that it is unusual for them to be in such intimate, pleasurable proximity to a fat body. I think about it as I unhook my bra, straddle my boyfriend, kiss a date in her car.

Once, I thought I saw a woman who looked like me in an amateur porn video. Her breasts hung low, and her stomach folded where mine did, and I couldn’t stop watching her. She bit her lip and sucked her boyfriend’s cock and rode him and bent over him and laughed and made the most delicious noises. She was beautiful. He looked at her with such reverence. They were, I think, actually in love.

The guy I was sleeping with came over for dinner. I sat him down and played the video and asked him if she looked like me.

He watched it for a few minutes, his eyes softening perceptively. Then he gently pried my hands off my laptop and folded down the screen. “Not really?” he said. “I mean, a little. But not really.” His expression was inscrutable. He was a nice, kind person, and I could tell he was trying to find a nice, kind response. The problem was he didn’t know what I was looking for.

“It wouldn’t be bad if you said she did,” I clarified. “I just want to know what I look like.”

We started to kiss and lay down on my bed, but then he stopped and just held me, like I was going somewhere.

Once during sex, a man pulled me on top of him. I resisted, worried I’d crush him. “I want to look up at you,” he said. On the verge of coming, I covered my mouth, and he pulled it away and told me, “I want to hear you.”

Another time, I took a guy home after a date and made him beg me to take my clothes off, just to see if I could do it. I could.